A Memory by Verdooya

I've been thinking for a while about what I could write here about Amy. It's been a long time since I'd seen her, her brother and my sister's wedding in fact...I had missed her then, because I had barely seen her since high school anyway; moving cross country limits that. We had a lot in common- for years we both ran away from a lot of baggage that we preferred to try and leave in the central valley. She always went back to it though. I wish I could've given her a bit the of the escape that I managed, but we each decide on our own path. Irregardless, I have missed her for years, and now I'll just miss her for longer.Man, she was a partner in crime and love and silly girlishness. I remember sitting with her in the common area behind the school, just chilling and talking bout whatever. The shadows stayed away on those days, all thoughts were towards the fun we had then... Theater, church, youth groups, boys, clothes, discovering the first decent coffee shop in Manteca (and that was a LONG time coming let me tell you). We managed plenty of sincere moments. I know she was sad even then, but she didn't talk to much about it, so we all let it lie. Her brother and my sister, as indicated by the wedding reference, we always a bonding point between us. The two of them were and are better folk than either of us could attain to be. We might've had more attitude, but damn if they didn't do everything "Right." So we would tease each other about them and tease each other to lift our more worldly spirits and convince ourselves that the pathes we chose were "Right" as well. I've learned that there is no path that doesn't teach, but I don't know what Amy learned. I hope a lot. I wish I could've talked to her more, but it is what it is, and regret creates guilt so I'll let it be....She was the first home town soul I told about my own pregnancy-- She was already carrying Sage, and we were at my sister Gina and Andy's wedding-- which was occurring because Gina was-- yep, pregnant. So our siblings weren't as Right as we had always assumed and we got a good laugh out of it. She was so excited to be mama though and was going to be the hippest one in California. hmmm...I'm in the very slow process of writing to Sage about her mama. I hope it's meaningful to her later in life. I bawl though everytime I start so I haven't gotten far. I just want to her to know that the last time I saw her mama, she was only talking about her.